Saturday, October 23, 2010

Archetypes, symbolic interpretation, and [self]reflection.

   I was riding my bicycle from, what seems to be, Scott's dad's house in Kettle falls but it's not for certain. The road is annoyingly bumpy on my bike but my attitude is passive. I approach the intersection and stop. Both ways cars are passing, going the speed limit but it's fast compared to the speed I'm able to go. I proceed into traffic to the other side of the road. I pedal as fast as I can to safety. I'm headed to my right, down the bend which curves to the left. There isn't enough room to ride my bike between the guard rail and the road. The other side of the guard rail is branches and leaves -kind of rainforest looking.

   I'm forced to wheelie onto the guard rail. I'm going an ok speed down the bend. It's hard but I stay balanced and avoid falling. Cars are oncoming and passing by. At the end of the bend the guard rail separates from the road a little bit and takes me more into the trees. My bike stops. I'm in a scene of a boat or plane crash in lush tree branches. It looks very 'medical' like, people are doing hospital like things. I ask openly if everyone is ok. "Yes", someone says, "there is a lady having a baby in the nose of the wreck". He may or may not have pointed. I walk over and it seems to be, but not for certain, my school librarian who is a little pregnant. I don't really know her. I ask her if I can do anything. Apparently, she just had her baby moments ago but is still a little pregnant. She seems happy I'm there and says i can go with her, or something. I go with the pregnant librarian.

   We go to a party. It's pretty clear it's my trashy neighbors house but I don't seem to be at my trashy neighbors house really. I'm sitting dwn on the couch drinking a beer, enjoying myself. I feel like I'm with my friends but I'm not really interacting with them. I hear that my aunt, uncle, and cousin are arriving. I go outside and greet them with a hug. We are happy to see each other and say "It's good to see you, we should do this more", I don't really feel like this though. I take them inside and they sit on the couch where I was sitting. Pregnant librarian takes me to a side room and my cousin follows us. It seems like while I was outside, something happened inside. She tells us and asks me, "It's getting weird, do you want to go?". I respond and feel indifferently, "yea, I guess it did just get weird".

   It's dark outside and the librarian puts her newborn into a car seat, into the back seat of her SUV. I sit shot-gun. We are driving in rain and I feel warm, comfy, and peaceful. She is driving on a tall long bridge over water. I'm very mentally alert but with a heavy body high. It's stormy and rainy. In front of us cars are having trouble on the wet road. We see brake lights tap on and off. The librarian turns down the radio and situates herself as she is being more cautious. I feel safe. A car ahead of us slams on the brakes and skids sideways for a while. A few seconds pass and I'm still very alert. We plane on the road for a second and then the pregnant librarian slams her brakes which sends us skidding sideways. She says, "oohh ffuuck" really slowly like she is giving up control; she doesn't try to correct us. I prepare in my head and focus on our fall. We start falling really slowly.

   I know I have more time to think than the amount of time it will take us to fall. Immediately I reach behind me and unbuckle the baby. I'm still buckeled, only my left hand is free. I grab the naked baby, It feels awkward because baby heads can't support themselves and I'm worried about this but It's body and neck is ok because we're falling and the baby is kind of floating and weightless. I'm holding the newborn by it's head with one hand and trying to guide the zero-gravity-baby towards myself. It's difficult. I start thinking about rolling the windows down when we hit water or helping the pregnant librarian unbuckle. The librarian looks at the baby and says, "oh, i forgot about my baby!". I'm thinking really hard to survive and I feel calm but a little preoccupied about how weird the baby thing was. I'm thinking about the last moment, the awkward baby part, and this induces a backwards progression, comprehending my previous moments. The skid, brake lights, the bridge, the party, etc.. leading back to when I was riding my bicycle and I realize that this started there; there was nothing before that beginning.


marti pants said...

I was very confused so I narrated this to the genius at my coffee shop who is good at dreams.
He told me:

bicycle = how I travel
librarian = knowledge
party where i'm comfortable = leaving it
bridge = somewhere new
saving baby = giving birth

my 'travel' has been 'bumpy' and I was 'forced' to take 'routes' where I didn't know if i would 'fall' or not. I found 'knowledge' who 'invited' me.
I left the 'party' where I felt comfortable. Knowledge is leading me somewhere new. I'm 'giving birth' to something that seems 'weightless'. I'm holding it's cranium in the palm of my hand. And it hits subcon.

dreams are sooo rad.

marti pants said...

water = subconscious

Chelsea Pants said...

so groovy reading that. excited, and jealous-- (in a little sister way, not a malicious way: kind of like, i know it'll be my turn in a couple years but i wish it would happen sooner.) but i love you so i feel the excitement for you now.