Monday, December 27, 2010

Sunday, December 26, 2010

My step dad asked me to find out what "box day" is on the calander

well stepdad, i dunno, it could mean BOXING day.
but i looked it up & printed out this dictionary reference 4 you okay.
1. box day

The first warm day after a cold spell. All of the hot boxes will be out in their sluttiest attire, walking around, or sunbathing. Most will be donating free anal blowjobs in celebration of the glorious day.
"I was walking down the street and this box set pulled me to the side on Box Day and domed me off like there was no tomorrow. Hooray for good weather!"

watched my mother make meat things and modified corn things yesterday and i just didn't want 2 eat anything. so i just want to be like, legit.

fuck yo shittie food.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

happy holidays and stuff. thanks for reading, stay kute okay.
((my roomates used to get rlly bloated this time of year.))

Friday, December 24, 2010

dear christmas,

feeling alienated.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

it's friday. you will be drunk enough but not drunk enough that you will drive home. the person you take home turns on the lights flooding you with a wave of confused sensations and feelings of vomit rising. the lights will have to be off for sex but he will keep switching them on, besides this, or in part of this, it will also be the most erotic sex you've ever had. after your disgusting acts you will throw up, throw up again, and be a major part in heaving episodes airing every ten minutes. you will be put to bed and you'll wake up at 4pm. remember the pellimini in the freezer that you bought for these situations? feel excited and eat it, watch ancient aliens on a tv set.

Mover Shaker - GamesAfricaGamesAfrica (Games x Toto x JayZ x BigBoi x AmandaBlank) by downloadmovershaker

Friday, December 17, 2010


Shantaram - Gregory David Roberts
Orange Juice - Timothy Sanders
Venus Drive: Stories - Sam Lipsyte
Meditations in an Emergency - Frank O'Hara
Lunch Poems - Frank O'Hara
Normally Special - xTx
Pop Serial #2
Light on Yoga - BKS Iyengar
Freedom in Exile - Dalai Lama
Sleeping Willow, Blind Woman - Haruki Murakami
Kafka on the Shore - Haruki Murakami
The Book of Interfering Bodies - Daniel Borzutzky
Hot Kitchen Snow - Susannah Rickards
Chilly Scenes of Winter - Ann Beattie
Killing Kanoko (poetry) - Hiromi Ito
Oikos - Adam Moorad
Bed - Tao Lin
The Orange Eats Creeps - Grace Krilanovich
In Our Time - Ernest Hemingway
Hunger - Knut Hamsung
Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind - Shunryu Suzuki
Person - Sam Pink
Sixty Stories - Donald Barthelme
The Box Man - Kobo Abe
The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea - Yukio Mishima
Hint Fiction: An Anthology of Stories in 25 Words or Fewer - Robert Swartwood
Aliens & Anorexia - Chris Kraus
I Love Dick - Chris Kraus
Animal Shelter issue 1 (Semiotexte)
Everything Here Is the Best Thing Ever: Stories - Justin Taylor
The War Against Cliche: Essays and Reviews, 1971-2000 - Martin Amis
Everything is Quiet (poetry) - Kendra Grant Malone
Long Love Poem with Descriptive Title (poetry) - Matthew Savoca
Fences - Ben Brooks
Magic Mountain - Thomas Mann
Unclean Jobs for Women and Girls - Alissa Nutting
Easter Rabbit - Joseph Young
Ugly Man: Stories - Dennis Cooper
The Parasite - Michel Serres 
A Splendid Conspiracy - Albert Cossery
Ten Walks/Two Talks - Jon Cotner, Andy Fitch
The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco
Eleven Kinds of Loneliness - Richard Yates
Einstein's dreams - Alan Lightman
Thin Kimono (poetry) - Michael Earl Craig
The Pink Institution - Selah Saterstrom
During My Nervous Breakdown I Want to Have a Biographer Present (poetry) - Brandon Scott Gorrell
Make-Believe Love-Making (poetry) - Ana Carrete
A Picture of Dorian Grey - Oscar Wilde
Brief Interviews with Hideous Men: Stories - David Foster Wallace
No Exit and Three Other Plays - Jean-Paul Sartre
The Physics of Imaginary Objects - Tina May Hall
The Satanic Verses - Salman Rushdie
Mating - Norman Rush
Museum of the Weird - Amelia Gray
The Boys of My Youth - Jo Ann Beard
Sometimes a Great Notion - Ken Kesey
The Fermata - Nicholson Baker
Pee on Water - Rachel Glaser
Selected Unpublished Blog Posts of a Mexican Panda Express Employee - Megan Boyle
The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis - Lydia Davis
There Is No Year: A Novel - Blake Butler
Best Behavior - Noah Cicero

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


You don't know what will be more rewarding: owning this vinyl or not owning this vinyl. 
Xmas makes you less attracted to things, buying things. You will probably buy it anyways and then buy something else because you need something more.

you took a fall yesterday on the shit snow: cracked one of your brand new skis, fucked up your thumb.

you want some adderall or some coke.

you should listen to some Das Racist.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

someone told me this today:
"I think everyone loves you; your presence is a good influence on the town
-oh- you really need to watch your drinking."

I was rlly saying this on the phone today:
I'm glad you called
come over and have sex with me
I'm almost done with my period.

so stupid today:
Someone said they lost 6lbs.
I thought, "I've lost weight and no one has said anything today."
so I went to the bathroom and looked at my collarbone in the mirror.
I came out of the bathroom and told Gretta, "i've lost weight too."

I haven't heard this since 7th grade until today.

in 7th grade i remember my more progressive friend sang to this on our suburbia radio and I was all like, wtf is this weird shit?! I like tlc yall!


Emalkay - When I Look at You by DubM

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I liked kanye's dick pic more than his album.

thought it was 'nice' and funny.

i'm glad yall like it, i like reading ppl's blogs when they get all serious about the album. 
you guys r funnie.

Friday, December 3, 2010

All the things I might have stolen in chronological order.

Cd's (not really)
during high school i had friend who was a year above me, terribly addicted to drugs, and was really racist (he had two WP 'white pride' tattoos.) He always damaged property and was 'dick' to people. I felt we were 'friends' because he was always around and better to be a friend to him than not. he started dating my other good friend and we were all staying at my boyfriends best friends house at eastern washington university for the wknd. we were partying and he broke into someones house and stole two wake boards and about 300cds. I didn't break into any ones house but he gave me all the cds he didn't want. I really didn't feel good about it. That same year someone broke into my car and re-stole those cd's.

Weed I never enjoyed
I was legally emancipated when I was seventeen, so my senior year I lived alone and was the only person under twenty-two doing this in my suburbia. I went on a party binge during winter break but I never regulated very well and my parties were considerably large and out of control. I was half blacked-out when I walked into my bathroom and a dude who went to my highschool was standing in my shower, on the phone, with all his weed on my counter. I ignored him and walked right up to the weed and palmed a twenty sack amount into my other palm and walked out. The dude was talking to me and I vaguley remember him yelling at me to come back but i didnt take my eyes off of my handful. I approached a few ppl in my living area and my friends say I said, "trade you for a beer," with my hand out. Our friend 'dirty d' saw my hand and said "deal!" and this was funny to everyone. i remember walking around with the weed, not knowing what to do with it, and talking to myself amused like i do when i'm in-and-out of a blackout. people at school talked about this story alot and everyone thought it was really funny which makes me feel good. I guess i see this as 'sad' in a way like, i remember having drug dealers partying at my house sometimes. one in paticular had a backpack that he called his 'million dollar bag', my friends and i thought he carried a gun. the dude from my shower recognized me at a party like six months later and he said i stole a twenty sack from him but it was okay because i was cool and had really good parties. that was nice. feel like something bad could of easily happened.

I was at a party with my best friend. i was pretty drunk. we went to the bathroom together and we were fucking around in there, taking pictures, doing makeup, and snooping through drawers when i saw a tube of bumble and bumble conditioner. I told my best friend, robbie, i was going to steal it. She didn't want me to take it but I did.

Wake board (not really)
My boyfriend and I were bored one night when I told him we should go to a strip club and kidnap kyle. I drove to kyle's house and told him to "fucking get in the car." He didn't know where we were going but i drove all the way to spokane while the two guys drank beer. I stopped at the state line strip club where we stayed until it closed even though i was 18, not old enough to drink. it closed at 2am but i wanted to buy wallpaper at home depot. to waste time and since we were on the state line, i drove to sandpoint idaho where i used to live and showed them the house i grew up in. then drove to the top of schweitzer mnt and we watched the sunrise. On the way down there was a suv with it's rack unlocked. on it was a wake board. Kyle got out and stole it. I drove back to spokane and we ate burger king breakfast until home depot opened. The boys were really drunk and threw mustard covered pickles at the windows of bk. I felt bad about the wake board. we took a nap in home depot before I drove back.

Secret santa cards from victoria's secret
I was a perfect employee for three years when I did this. For the Holiday season, cashiers gave out a secret 10-500 dollar gift card to every person who makes a money transaction. employees weren't supposed to have them and couldn't use them in the store anyways. I kept all the ones that customers didn't want and all the ones i forgot to bag and sometimes I just didnt give ppl one, and kept it. I collected about 30 of them. You cant tell how much they were worth until you use them although it's a guaranteed ten dollars off. I gave most of them to friends. You could use four at a time online to purchase things. Employees didn't get a discount online and online is where all the bathing suits were and I knew I could use the santa cards online. I bought two actual gift cards in-store for the remaining amount of my bathing suit total with my 30% discount. I used this online making two transactions, with eight $10 santa cards. I got about 10 bathing suit pieces for $100, got free shipping, and saved much more.The store had a meeting the next week and my manager told us that an employee was stealing from the company online with santa cards and if you know who, report it. Seems like my bosses knew it was me but i was the best employee with the highest sales and best customer service and they were scared of firing me. It was really uncomfortably cold that season and I had to wear two sweaters during my shifts. I was on low carbs for the past four months so i was really moody and got pretty weird for a while. I felt 'over it'. felt like i punched corporates metaphorical face. I think I planned this out well and it might be the most weirdest/sneaky thing i've ever done. I'm happy about all my bathing suits. vs is just another walmart and i feel justified.

Pajama pants
I had just quit working retail, where I worked for five years, so maybe i felt like i didn't have that responsibility or conscience anymore. I was shopping at forever21 by myself when i saw these pj leggings with out a security tag. I took the pants into a fitting room and put them into my nordstrom bag. I didn't even want them really. They were like five dollars. this was less than two years ago and I still have them. idk.

A picture of jesus
This was two weeks ago. I was shopping at a local thrift store looking at frames. in a tiny frame that i didn't want was this rad little portrait of a catholic jesus. I took it out of the frame and put it in my purse. I really like it. I put it in the corner of a mirror. I feel like this 'dosen't count'.

I've been drinking foggy grey water.

I keep thinking and feeling really good about "experiencing unbalance is a part of being balanced" and I feel the most balanced and feel like i will be progressively better balanced than I have in over a year. But I might be feeling this way because just hearing this would make someone feel like, good or something.

I'm reading 'the awakening', 'shantaram', and maybe still 'freedom' but idk i lost interest when lytha or lydia was introduced. kinda racist or something.

I had to get water from safeway because my water looks like a paintbrush with gray paint was dipped in it. I've been drinking that for 6 months knowing it looked like grey paint dilute.

scott's in california, i dont miss him.

Ive been rlly busy and it's okay b/c I'm a paranoid about personality fluctuations and this week feels scary.

my touchyscreen is broken yall, i cant open your texts, i can't text u.
can't un-do my 5am alarm. damn.