I'm just rlly boy crazy and i want to make out all the time.
coming and crying [LINK]
imboycrazy [LINK]
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Go ahead and read this:
"We pick out people who have the same kind of unhappiness we do. And we gravitate toward them and try to help them.
Many of us are like this. Every time we try to help someone else and fail, it feels weird. It feels bad. We do not know exactly what is going on but it is upsetting.
Until one day we realize that what we are doing is avoiding our own pain. We have learned to act as though it is not our pain that is at issue, but other people's.
A part of us feels that we have conquered certain things and wants to share our strength. But another part of us wants to admit that we are the one who is in pain. We want to be the center of care and attention. But we focus on others. We have told the world that we are OK, we're fine, and feel we have to be true to that. It's these other people who need help. We are generous and kind; we are willing to give them help. But they don't seem to appreciate our help.
And why is that?
Because they recognize us. It is like one drowning person offering to help another.
But we go on like this for a long time, trying to fix the unhappiness of others, skating on the surface of our feelings while underneath we are a colossal mess, a roiling chaos of abuse and anger and hurt and fear and brilliance.
And then one day we fall through the ice.
Only then, when we realize that we ourselves are drowning, do we call for help. Only then, when are we truly helpless, is it permissible to cry wolf."
[Salon/Zach Trenholm]
Many of us are like this. Every time we try to help someone else and fail, it feels weird. It feels bad. We do not know exactly what is going on but it is upsetting.
Until one day we realize that what we are doing is avoiding our own pain. We have learned to act as though it is not our pain that is at issue, but other people's.
A part of us feels that we have conquered certain things and wants to share our strength. But another part of us wants to admit that we are the one who is in pain. We want to be the center of care and attention. But we focus on others. We have told the world that we are OK, we're fine, and feel we have to be true to that. It's these other people who need help. We are generous and kind; we are willing to give them help. But they don't seem to appreciate our help.
And why is that?
Because they recognize us. It is like one drowning person offering to help another.
But we go on like this for a long time, trying to fix the unhappiness of others, skating on the surface of our feelings while underneath we are a colossal mess, a roiling chaos of abuse and anger and hurt and fear and brilliance.
And then one day we fall through the ice.
Only then, when we realize that we ourselves are drowning, do we call for help. Only then, when are we truly helpless, is it permissible to cry wolf."
[Salon/Zach Trenholm]
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
hate that yr so far away today...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHELSEA!
Chelsea likes: arts & crafts, tattoos, animals, being in-love, halloween, meaningfulcore friendships, red hot chili peppers, pedicures, boyfriends, pita pit, siddhartha, psychology, zest, roller derby, working out, sexi modeling, farmers markets, piercings, and helping others.
If she were a color: I would say, bubblegum pink.
My fave quality about her: yr rlly geniune through and through!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
because don't you ever need to say, "what would vladimir propp do?"
Now you can!
Vladimir Propp extended the Russian Formalist approach to the study of narrative structure. In the Formalist approach, sentence structures were broken down into analyzable elements, or morphemes, and Propp used this method by analogy to analyze Russian fairy tales. By breaking down a large number of Russian folk tales into their smallest narrative units, or narratemes, Propp was able to arrive at a typology of narrative structures.
After the initial situation is depicted, the tale takes the following sequence of 31 functions:
1. ABSENTATION: A member of a family leaves the security of the home environment. This may be the hero or some other member of the family that the hero will later need to rescue. This division of the cohesive family injects initial tension into the storyline. The hero may also be introduced here, often being shown as an ordinary person.
2. INTERDICTION: An interdiction is addressed to the hero ('don't go there', 'don't do this'). The hero is warned against some action (given an 'interdiction').
3. VIOLATION of INTERDICTION. The interdiction is violated (villain enters the tale). This generally proves to be a bad move and the villain enters the story, although not necessarily confronting the hero. Perhaps they are just a lurking presence or perhaps they attack the family whilst the hero is away.
4. RECONNAISSANCE: The villain makes an attempt at reconnaissance (either villain tries to find the children/jewels etc.; or intended victim questions the villain). The villain (often in disguise) makes an active attempt at seeking information, for example searching for something valuable or trying to actively capture someone. They may speak with a member of the family who innocently divulges information. They may also seek to meet the hero, perhaps knowing already the hero is special in some way.
5. DELIVERY: The villain gains information about the victim. The villain's seeking now pays off and he or she now acquires some form of information, often about the hero or victim. Other information can be gained, for example about a map or treasure location.
6. TRICKERY: The villain attempts to deceive the victim to take possession of victim or victim's belongings (trickery; villain disguised, tries to win confidence of victim). The villain now presses further, often using the information gained in seeking to deceive the hero or victim in some way, perhaps appearing in disguise. This may include capture of the victim, getting the hero to give the villain something or persuading them that the villain is actually a friend and thereby gaining collaboration.
7. COMPLICITY: Victim taken in by deception, unwittingly helping the enemy. The trickery of the villain now works and the hero or victim naively acts in a way that helps the villain. This may range from providing the villain with something (perhaps a map or magical weapon) to actively working against good people (perhaps the villain has persuaded the hero that these other people are actually bad).
8. VILLAINY or LACK: Villain causes harm/injury to family member (by abduction, theft of magical agent, spoiling crops, plunders in other forms, causes a disappearance, expels someone, casts spell on someone, substitutes child etc., comits murder, imprisons/detains someone, threatens forced marriage, provides nightly torments); Alternatively, a member of family lacks something or desires something (magical potion etc.). There are two options for this function, either or both of which may appear in the story. In the first option, the villain causes some kind of harm, for example carrying away a victim or the desired magical object (which must be then be retrieved). In the second option, a sense of lack is identified, for example in the hero's family or within a community, whereby something is identified as lost or something becomes desirable for some reason, for example a magical object that will save people in some way.
9. MEDIATION: Misfortune or lack is made known, (hero is dispatched, hears call for help etc./ alternative is that victimized hero is sent away, freed from imprisonment). The hero now discovers the act of villainy or lack, perhaps finding their family or community devastated or caught up in a state of anguish and woe.
10. BEGINNING COUNTER-ACTION: Seeker agrees to, or decides upon counter-action. The hero now decides to act in a way that will resolve the lack, for example finding a needed magical item, rescuing those who are captured or otherwise defeating the villain. This is a defining moment for the hero as this is the decision that sets the course of future actions and by which a previously ordinary person takes on the mantle of heroism.
11. DEPARTURE: Hero leaves home;
12. FIRST FUNCTION OF THE DONOR: Hero is tested, interrogated, attacked etc., preparing the way for his/her receiving magical agent or helper (donor);
13. HERO'S REACTION: Hero reacts to actions of future donor (withstands/fails the test, frees captive, reconciles disputants, performs service, uses adversary's powers against him);
14. RECEIPT OF A MAGICAL AGENT: Hero acquires use of a magical agent (directly transferred, located, purchased, prepared, spontaneously appears, eaten/drunk, help offered by other characters);
15. GUIDANCE: Hero is transferred, delivered or led to whereabouts of an object of the search;
16. STRUGGLE: Hero and villain join in direct combat;
17. BRANDING: Hero is branded (wounded/marked, receives ring or scarf);
18. VICTORY: Villain is defeated (killed in combat, defeated in contest, killed while asleep, banished);
19. LIQUIDATION: Initial misfortune or lack is resolved (object of search distributed, spell broken, slain person revived, captive freed);
20. RETURN: Hero returns;
21. PURSUIT: Hero is pursued (pursuer tries to kill, eat, undermine the hero);
22. RESCUE: Hero is rescued from pursuit (obstacles delay pursuer, hero hides or is hidden, hero transforms unrecognisably, hero saved from attempt on his/her life);
23. UNRECOGNIZED ARRIVAL: Hero unrecognized, arrives home or in another country;
24. UNFOUNDED CLAIMS: False hero presents unfounded claims;
25. DIFFICULT TASK: Difficult task proposed to the hero (trial by ordeal, riddles, test of strength/endurance, other tasks);
26. SOLUTION: Task is resolved;
27. RECOGNITION: Hero is recognized (by mark, brand, or thing given to him/her);
28. EXPOSURE: False hero or villain is exposed;
29. TRANSFIGURATION: Hero is given a new appearance (is made whole, handsome, new garments etc.);
30. PUNISHMENT: Villain is punished;
40. WEDDING: Hero marries and ascends the throne (is rewarded/promoted).
Occasionally, some of these functions are inverted, as when the hero receives something while still at home, the function of a donor occurring early. More often, a function is negated twice, so that it must be repeated three times.
I wld analyize my life to function #10, BEGINNING COUNTER-ACTION.
Ha.
Vladimir Propp extended the Russian Formalist approach to the study of narrative structure. In the Formalist approach, sentence structures were broken down into analyzable elements, or morphemes, and Propp used this method by analogy to analyze Russian fairy tales. By breaking down a large number of Russian folk tales into their smallest narrative units, or narratemes, Propp was able to arrive at a typology of narrative structures.
After the initial situation is depicted, the tale takes the following sequence of 31 functions:
1. ABSENTATION: A member of a family leaves the security of the home environment. This may be the hero or some other member of the family that the hero will later need to rescue. This division of the cohesive family injects initial tension into the storyline. The hero may also be introduced here, often being shown as an ordinary person.
2. INTERDICTION: An interdiction is addressed to the hero ('don't go there', 'don't do this'). The hero is warned against some action (given an 'interdiction').
3. VIOLATION of INTERDICTION. The interdiction is violated (villain enters the tale). This generally proves to be a bad move and the villain enters the story, although not necessarily confronting the hero. Perhaps they are just a lurking presence or perhaps they attack the family whilst the hero is away.
4. RECONNAISSANCE: The villain makes an attempt at reconnaissance (either villain tries to find the children/jewels etc.; or intended victim questions the villain). The villain (often in disguise) makes an active attempt at seeking information, for example searching for something valuable or trying to actively capture someone. They may speak with a member of the family who innocently divulges information. They may also seek to meet the hero, perhaps knowing already the hero is special in some way.
5. DELIVERY: The villain gains information about the victim. The villain's seeking now pays off and he or she now acquires some form of information, often about the hero or victim. Other information can be gained, for example about a map or treasure location.
6. TRICKERY: The villain attempts to deceive the victim to take possession of victim or victim's belongings (trickery; villain disguised, tries to win confidence of victim). The villain now presses further, often using the information gained in seeking to deceive the hero or victim in some way, perhaps appearing in disguise. This may include capture of the victim, getting the hero to give the villain something or persuading them that the villain is actually a friend and thereby gaining collaboration.
7. COMPLICITY: Victim taken in by deception, unwittingly helping the enemy. The trickery of the villain now works and the hero or victim naively acts in a way that helps the villain. This may range from providing the villain with something (perhaps a map or magical weapon) to actively working against good people (perhaps the villain has persuaded the hero that these other people are actually bad).
8. VILLAINY or LACK: Villain causes harm/injury to family member (by abduction, theft of magical agent, spoiling crops, plunders in other forms, causes a disappearance, expels someone, casts spell on someone, substitutes child etc., comits murder, imprisons/detains someone, threatens forced marriage, provides nightly torments); Alternatively, a member of family lacks something or desires something (magical potion etc.). There are two options for this function, either or both of which may appear in the story. In the first option, the villain causes some kind of harm, for example carrying away a victim or the desired magical object (which must be then be retrieved). In the second option, a sense of lack is identified, for example in the hero's family or within a community, whereby something is identified as lost or something becomes desirable for some reason, for example a magical object that will save people in some way.
9. MEDIATION: Misfortune or lack is made known, (hero is dispatched, hears call for help etc./ alternative is that victimized hero is sent away, freed from imprisonment). The hero now discovers the act of villainy or lack, perhaps finding their family or community devastated or caught up in a state of anguish and woe.
10. BEGINNING COUNTER-ACTION: Seeker agrees to, or decides upon counter-action. The hero now decides to act in a way that will resolve the lack, for example finding a needed magical item, rescuing those who are captured or otherwise defeating the villain. This is a defining moment for the hero as this is the decision that sets the course of future actions and by which a previously ordinary person takes on the mantle of heroism.
11. DEPARTURE: Hero leaves home;
12. FIRST FUNCTION OF THE DONOR: Hero is tested, interrogated, attacked etc., preparing the way for his/her receiving magical agent or helper (donor);
13. HERO'S REACTION: Hero reacts to actions of future donor (withstands/fails the test, frees captive, reconciles disputants, performs service, uses adversary's powers against him);
14. RECEIPT OF A MAGICAL AGENT: Hero acquires use of a magical agent (directly transferred, located, purchased, prepared, spontaneously appears, eaten/drunk, help offered by other characters);
15. GUIDANCE: Hero is transferred, delivered or led to whereabouts of an object of the search;
16. STRUGGLE: Hero and villain join in direct combat;
17. BRANDING: Hero is branded (wounded/marked, receives ring or scarf);
18. VICTORY: Villain is defeated (killed in combat, defeated in contest, killed while asleep, banished);
19. LIQUIDATION: Initial misfortune or lack is resolved (object of search distributed, spell broken, slain person revived, captive freed);
20. RETURN: Hero returns;
21. PURSUIT: Hero is pursued (pursuer tries to kill, eat, undermine the hero);
22. RESCUE: Hero is rescued from pursuit (obstacles delay pursuer, hero hides or is hidden, hero transforms unrecognisably, hero saved from attempt on his/her life);
23. UNRECOGNIZED ARRIVAL: Hero unrecognized, arrives home or in another country;
24. UNFOUNDED CLAIMS: False hero presents unfounded claims;
25. DIFFICULT TASK: Difficult task proposed to the hero (trial by ordeal, riddles, test of strength/endurance, other tasks);
26. SOLUTION: Task is resolved;
27. RECOGNITION: Hero is recognized (by mark, brand, or thing given to him/her);
28. EXPOSURE: False hero or villain is exposed;
29. TRANSFIGURATION: Hero is given a new appearance (is made whole, handsome, new garments etc.);
30. PUNISHMENT: Villain is punished;
40. WEDDING: Hero marries and ascends the throne (is rewarded/promoted).
Occasionally, some of these functions are inverted, as when the hero receives something while still at home, the function of a donor occurring early. More often, a function is negated twice, so that it must be repeated three times.
I wld analyize my life to function #10, BEGINNING COUNTER-ACTION.
Ha.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
substance abuse
After MASS partying for two consecutive week days, even this sentence is hard to understand. rlly love my bff though; I'm down right determined to make some curtains for the VW today, even if I have to search images like this and youtube every step. lately, I'm such a 'hot mess', even my phone is hungover; the screen sometimes responds but still thinks we're dialing somebody. Anyways, I would of called y'all for help and support. I have friends that just made curtains for their VWbus, I'm wishing we were neighbors today. #toughshit
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
erudition explorer or just an amazon consumer?
ON THE ROAD [25th anniversary edition] Jack Kerouac; THE INTENTION EXPERIMENT Lynne McTaggart; 100 SELECTED POEMS E E Cummings; MATING: A NOVEL Norman Rush; FRANZ KAFKA: THE COMPLETE STORIES; PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN A, James Joyce; RICHARD YATES [hrdcvr] Tao Lin; SQUIREL SEEKS CHIPMUNK: A MODEST BESTIARY [hrdcvr] David Sedris; NO LOGO: NO SPACE, NO CHOICE, NO JOBS Naomi klein; BED Tao Lin; THE BLUE AND BROWN BOOKS Ludwig Wittgenstien; LOLITA Vladimir Nabokov; SWANN'S WAY [hrdcvr] Marcel Proust; THE HOLOGRAPHIC UNIVERSE Michael Talbot; INFINITE JEST [hrdcvr] David Foster Wallace; and a sitting buddha.
Most missed in Seattle: indie bookshops, relevant shows, hip people, and trader joes.
Most missed in Seattle: indie bookshops, relevant shows, hip people, and trader joes.
tuesday autonomy
I spent last night in the VWbus down by the river and have yet to rlly 'do something' with my day.
At the sandys' drive-in, dressed with pjs and my best poodle hair, I sipped on two cups of folgers with scott. He ate french toast. We discussed economics, raising children, ladygag slut artist [time mags interesting ppl article], and 'diet pills', because the mainstream morning [2,4, or 6] program was feelin' risky and [btw], they're not healthy. I had yogurt sprinkled with hemp hearts, fresh huckleberries, and 30oz of coffee for breakfast. I just looked up the wrd 'sojourn' while listening to the new Arcade Fire album, the suburbs. Approaching 10:45am, the day is not going ostensibly well, added with happy torpor -I know it's not going anywhere. I plan on, but know, not all will be completed nor attempted; doing my hair, walking to the post office, hitting up safeway (organic yogurt), doing dishes, folding the heap of laundry on my couch, brew much needed kombucha, taking a 2+ hr nap, pay-off a fine, catch an episode of ancient aliens, do some interneting, and sign-up for classes. It's my day off... in all candor, i hope no one comes over, no one calls. Forget me today or resist the urge to inflect on my solitude.
At the sandys' drive-in, dressed with pjs and my best poodle hair, I sipped on two cups of folgers with scott. He ate french toast. We discussed economics, raising children, ladygag slut artist [time mags interesting ppl article], and 'diet pills', because the mainstream morning [2,4, or 6] program was feelin' risky and [btw], they're not healthy. I had yogurt sprinkled with hemp hearts, fresh huckleberries, and 30oz of coffee for breakfast. I just looked up the wrd 'sojourn' while listening to the new Arcade Fire album, the suburbs. Approaching 10:45am, the day is not going ostensibly well, added with happy torpor -I know it's not going anywhere. I plan on, but know, not all will be completed nor attempted; doing my hair, walking to the post office, hitting up safeway (organic yogurt), doing dishes, folding the heap of laundry on my couch, brew much needed kombucha, taking a 2+ hr nap, pay-off a fine, catch an episode of ancient aliens, do some interneting, and sign-up for classes. It's my day off... in all candor, i hope no one comes over, no one calls. Forget me today or resist the urge to inflect on my solitude.
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